Holding On
by helena4123
Summary: What if Bella made a different choice?
1. chapter 1

Chapter 1.

I look at him standing there, begging me to give him a chance.

"Jake, I'm broken, I'm not easy."

"Please, just let me take care of you Bells."

A tear finds its way down my cold cheek as I look up at him and nod my head. Shivering, I try rising to my feet. The sand is hard and cold. All I want right now is a bed; to sleep and forget all the stupid choices I made today.

"The others will find her Bella, she won't make it far, Sam won't let her."

A familiar worry wrinkle is forming on Jakes forhead. I try to smile weekly as he wraps his arm around my waist. Suddenly his tanned face starts to fade in and out like a mirrage on a brutally hot day. A thin layer of mist starts to cloud my vision.

"I'm cold Jake, my...my leg... it hurts..."

Blackness.

A thousand waves of red hot pain are washing over me. Never ending waves crashing over me. I feel tears escaping the corners of my eyes, but I can't move. I hear his voice... Then darkness again...

When my eyes snap open I know something is wrong. Slowly I sit up taking in my surroundings. Jake is laying beside me with his face down on the quilt, that is covering me in his small bed. Then, I smell it, faintly, wet dog.

My brain still feels a little hazy. Everything is so silent. There is a glass of water by bed. I grab it and try to sip it, but it tastes bitter.

"Ugh." I wipe my mouth with the back of my hand.

Jakes head snaps up, "Bella?!"

His eyes are so wide and frightened.

"Jake?" I jump slightly "What's going on?!"

I clench the blanket in my hands. "I'm so thirsty Jake."

I can hear the small whine in my voice, I dont even care; my body is alive with thirst.

"Don't move Bella." Jakes eyes plead with me to stay put.

He dashes out of the room. I can hear him frantically whispering. I hear Billy's calloused hands skimming the wheels of his chair as he approaches the room. _How am I hearing this?_ Billy approaches the doorway never taking his eyes off me. I can feel a tightening and burning in my throat and nose. Billy's eyebrows lift slightly at the sight of me.

"Bella, you have heard the history of our people, you know who we are, and what we are."

I nod slowly. My throat is burning. As if sensing my discomfort, Billy backs up his chair.

"Victoria attacked you on the water after you jumped off the cliff, Jake was able to jump in and drag you to shore, but, Victoria, she bit your leg Bella."

I squeeze my eyes shut and reach my hand hesitantly under the quilt, I feel the ice cold scar on my leg.

"W-what?"

I cant take it anymore. Jumping from the bed, I push past them into the hallway. Jake winces as my shoulder bangs against him. Even though he towers above me.

I run into the bathroom, it's pitch black. I smell toothpaste and lemon cleaner. Fumbling, I reach for the light switch. Light floods the tiny room. Looking back at me in the mirror are eyes of the deepest red.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2.

Alice's P.O.V.

Charlie stands across from me. His arms crossed. I can hear the football game in the living room.

"Alice, Bella isn't hear." Charlie scratches his neck. "She's finally startin to feel better."

Charlie looks me in the eye his mouth a firm line. _Damn it Edward._ "I just wanted to know if she's OK."

I pull out my best puppy dog eyes. Charlie sighs and unclips his phone from his belt. I reach into my pocket and flip open my phone.

 **Edward:** I'm on my way, have you seen her yet?!

 **Me:** Talking to Charlie right now

Charlie raises the phone to his ear. "Yeah Bells, are you still at Jessica's?"

Absently, he swipes his hand over his chin. "Oh, OK, have fun sweetheart."

He slips his phone back into his belt. "She's at the reservation, La Push, with her friends."

I feel myself relax. _She's not dead!_ " Can I please have her number Charlie?"

"I don't think hearing from you would be good for her, Alice, I'm sorry." Charlie looks intently at a bug crawling along the carpet.

"Thank you for letting me know she's alright, I understand."

I walk quickly from the moss stained porch to my car. As I slide into the drivers seat I pull ou my phone.

 **Me:** She is OK. Charlie just got off the phone with her. I must have been wrong.

 **Edward:** Meet me at the old house. I have to see her.

I sigh and press my lips togethed. _This is going to hurt her._ I pull my car onto the road as a thin rain starts to fall. My phone buzzes.

"Jasper?" I turn the car towards the house. "Have Esme and Carlisle come to the house in Forks right away, bring Emmet and Rosalie."


	3. Chapter 3

Bella's P.O.V.

"Look, it's gonna be alright Bella, we'll figure everything out together." Jake's eyes are so clear and confident, he reaches over and squuezes my hand.

"What am I going to do Jake? What can I tell Charlie?! He isn't dumb, he'll notice I'm not aging eventually. Can I ever even see him again?" I bury my head in my hands.

Jake stands up from his little bed and grabs my hand. "Lets just take this one step at a time OK? First thing we need to do is get you something to eat before..." He frowns, he doesn't have to explain. I know that I need blood to survive now. A million questions are running through my mind _, What will I do? Where will I go?_

Through it all though one presence remains, him. Jake. I reach my hand out and he reacts immediately taking my marble white hand into his.

"Please don't leave me alone." My eyes prick and my lip trembles.

Jake looks into my new eyes, I don't see any fear in his rich brown eyes. "Never."

"You did it!"

I look over from the deer to Jake, standing half naked; he must have morphed back while I was eating. Tracking and killing the deer was an easy enough thing to do, my instincts were strong. I have strength and speed now. _I might even be stronger than Jake right now_ , I smirk at the thought.

Jake had gotten me started by picking up a fresh trail and running with me. Once I caught sight of the deer I felt the burning thirst stronger than before. It was messy, my technique still needed work. At least I wasn't blinded by my own thirst anymore.

"Quill snuck into your house and got you some clothes, you uh might wanna change Bella."

Looking down at my clothes, I see ehat he means, the front of my once pink shirt is stained brown and red from wrestling the deer down.

For the first time since waking up I manage a small smile. "I must look insane right now."

"A bit." Jake holds back a laugh. "Cmon, lets go make some plans."

We fly through the forest together. The wind whips my hair and I can tell Jake is struggling to keep up with me, my newborn energy is a little much for him. Laughing I tear out of the forest ahead of him.

"Hold on Bella let me put my shorts on."

I stop in the meadow outside the forest and wait. Jake comes out after a few seconds. We walk in silence to his house.

Billy is waiting for us in the kitchen. "Both of you sit." Jake and I obey and sit across from Billy at the table. I pick at the green tablecloth not sure what to say or do. Because I am a vampire now. After all the fighting with Edward to make me like him and now I am, just like that.

Billy clears his throat, "I have spoken to Charlie and he is getting anxious for Bella to return home. There are a limited amount of options right now." He sighs, his wearied eyes meet mine. "Before you make a decision promise me you will think about this till tomorrow morning." We both nod our heads in silent agreement. "You should leave here Bella, and quickly, I know that Jake cares for you so I can not ask him to stay either. You could head North, to Alaska. But this is your life Bella you must decide if this is what you want, you are free to go and do as you please, you have a great amount of power now. You need to gain control and understanding of yourself, maybe one day you could return to see Charlie and Renee."

Keeping this world a secret is so important to everyones safety and I know that. I choke out a quick thank you and run to Jake's room. He's quick to follow me there. Grabbing a towel and what looks like my gym bag he motions me to follow him.

The bathroom is really too small for two people but I don't care. Jake turns the water on and faces the wall while I peel off my filthy clothes. I look at myself in the mirror for a moment. my skin is pure white now, not even a slight blush left in my cheeks. My eyes are still a deep brilliant red.

"If he sees me he will know something is different."

"Don't forget Bella, he's human, you're noticing tiny details that he can't even see."

I shrug and climb into the shower. "You can turn around now."

Jake closes the toilet and sits down on the seat. I feel relieved, I really don't want to be alone right now. He knows that I'm afraid I'll turn around one day and he'll be gone just like Edward. I keep telling myself its OK he's not going anywhere.

He is my sunshine and I know deep down I love him.

Alice's P.O.V.

I see Edward jump from his new Lamborghini, yet another attempt at distracting himself from her.

"Have you seen her yet?" His eyes are full of worry.

"I haven't seen her in person yet."

"I need to go to her now, where is she?"

"Charlie said she's in La Push."

Edward wrinkles his nose, "Why is she hanging around in La Push?"

"I don't know Edward, we've been gone almost a year now." I feel a bitter twinge in my heart. "If we hadn't left she would have never jumped off that cliff."

Edward winces at that. "Im going to find her."

"She hasn't been at Charlies for a few days and he wasn't exactly happy to see me back. He said she was finally starting to feel better."

"What am I supposed to do Alice? I love her, I thought she'd be safer without me but I was wrong. I just want her back."

"At least come in and discuss this with the family, Edward, please."

Edward hesitates at his car door before turning to face me again. He looks at our old house and quickly looks away again.

"No."

Jumping into the car he speeds away.


End file.
